Welcome the inaugural chapter for Sandwiches of Ergo Depot.
Here at Ergo Depot we are not just a company, but a community. We are the people sending you emails, answering your phone calls and packing your fantastic new desks and chairs and shipping them all over America and Canada.
I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you a little bit more about us in the most effective way possible, by describing the sandwiches that have changed our lives. Enjoy.
Nate B: “Do you have some spare time to back and forth about sandwiches?”
Eric E: “Depends on the sandwich… But in general, yes.”
NB: “I’m glad you framed your answer as such: I have questions about the best sandwich. Specifically, the best sandwich you’ve eaten during your tenure at Ergo Depot.”
EE: “Are you referring to the Randy?”
NB: “It’s up to you, is that your choice? Think carefully before committing, because I don’t want to ask you questions about your second best. I want to ask you questions about your best sandwich. Take all the time you need to decide.”
EE: “I have four best sandwiches: Pork Belly Bahn Mi from Double Dragon. Turkey Avo with Tomato Jam from Brass Tacks. Smoked Fried Chicken from People’s Pig. And, Randy from Olympia Provisions. These are my ‘desert island’ sandwiches and these are the sandwiches that will (I hope) inevitably lead to my poor cardiovascular health-related death. I could eat all four of those for each of the seven days of the week. Literally a four course meal of sandwiches each day.”
NB: “Awesome! From those four, choose one.”
EE: “Because I know Randy is going to be out front for a lot of folks here at Ergo, I choose the People’s Pig Sando.”
NB: “‘Natch. Lets begin. Tell me about the sandwich itself. You can be as detailed or brief as you like.”
EE: “It’s a sandwich steeped in bbq lore, tradition and Portland’s wanton urge to consume and create decadence in the filthiest way possible. The chicken is smoked and then it’s fried. I won't say that again, because the sandwich already told my mouth twice. And, I just keep coming back for more. Add spicy mayo, jalapeño jam and some leafy greens and you’re looking at a sandwich so focused on sensory overwhelmingness, it’ll make a rapid fire air horn sound played as the bass drops to a bunch of club kids at a Diplo concert feel a cool breeze.”
NB: “Sometimes, there’s a sandwich. The sandwich you just described sounds like a sandwich I would consider paying American money for.”
EE: “Right, real american dineros.”
NB: “For context, because context is everything, can you tell me what you were wearing when you ate it?”
EE: “I don’t remember, I blacked out. But, I came to in a field wrapped in the softest fabric I’ve ever felt though.”
NB: “I bet! Do you remember if you were sitting or standing when you ate it? Also, since the Jarvis desk accommodates both positions (bring your best self to sandwich) did you try a combination of sitting and standing to get the full sensual experience?”
EE: “No, I was sitting at a table too small for 2 people but with 4 others. Standing may have taken that experience into a level of transcendence no mortal is ready for.”
NB: “Sounds ultra intimate. Are you still friends with the people you were sitting so close to? Such a make/break experience in the presence of others can either forge lifelong companionship, or lifelong hatred.”
EE: “Not as close as we were before. We’re different people now with different ideals of sandwich. Some day we’ll come back together, for good or bad.”
NB: “Like ‘Stand By Me’ but for sandwiches. 'May the bonds this sandwich has woven, let no man put asunder.'”
EE: “Agreed, life post Smoked Fried Chicken has been hard, but also beautiful.”
NB: “Yes, which leads me to my next question: Sometimes, the perfect sandwich is a glimpse at the Great White Buffalo. With that in mind: Would you order the sandwich again, to possibly recreate the experience? Or, would you never order the sandwich again because perfection like that could never be replicated, and so it’s best to just leave perfection sealed in amber where nobody can screw it up by forgetting the mayonnaise?”
EE: “This question reminds me of another sandwich, well a burger actually. I had what I thought was the best burger I’ve ever had at Bungalo Bar a few years ago. Also a shared experience with since gone friends. I went back many times after to get that burger and it was never the same, oftentimes worse. So I just stopped trying. That burger chapter had closed. Those friends were no more and Bungalo Bar itself is gone.
“Like that fluke burger, I’ve gone back to Smoked Fried Chicken multiple times. But unlike it, it’s been good. It’s been pure. It’s never let me down. Granted, I don’t eat it unless I’m in a state of mind ready to accept its gifts. That’s the relationship I have with it and so far it’s working. And when it stops working, I’ll be ready, but I’m not worried about that right now.”
NB: “Sounds like sunny horizons! In a world steeped in hopelessness, incompetence and disappointment, people will be more happy to hear this news.
“Moving on, you like bicycles, yes?”
NB: “I knew it! If the sandwich was a bicycle what would it be? Please support your answer in under 140 characters.”
EE: “This sandwich is a Schwinn Cruiser ala Gary Fisher’s klunker mountain bikes. It’s not pretty, and it’s not graceful. But it’ll go downhill with force and maybe fall apart a little along the way. But you’ll make it and you’ll be happy and maybe a little scared.
"Was that 140?”
NB: “If not, I will edit for tweetable status. The world needs to know.
“Suggested pairings for your ‘wich?”
EE: “Hamm’s tall can.”
NB: “Superb. A modest companionship with a harkening back to sturdy American values. Maybe a little bit trashy, but an undeniably hard fought classic.
“Like Tango and Cash.”
EE: “Exactly. Nothing that’s going to overpower the sandwich in a bad way, just hold your hand through it. Hamm’s helped your grandpa and your great grandpa through many sandwiches just like Fried Smoked Chicken.”
NB: “I can’t think of a better way to wrap up this interview.”
NB: “Please, who are you? What do you do at Ergo Depot? How long have you been employed here? Do you sit or stand or do a little bit of both with your Jarvis?”
EE: “Oh boy, I’ve been here for two years in September and do creative ranging from visuals to social campaigns to sandwich selection. Always trying to stand more, but there’s just too many good chairs to put my buns on.”
In the words of Winston Churchill, “Never stand when you can sit, my boy. And never sit, when you can lie down."